A time to fall back. | October 2020 Love Note

"There is a season for everything, and a time for every activity under the heavens." - Ecclesiastes 3

In this season, especially, I feel led to fall back. Even with a significantly slower paced social life, I still find myself busy, emotionally extended, and living with a chronic undercurrent of stress and low grade anxiety. Balancing home and work all at the same time, being there for others, coping with so much illness and loss, and still making the time to invest in Love, Maaden is taking a toll.

This autumn, I have decided to take a cue from daylight savings and fall back. Here are the three areas that I have committed to focusing on over the next few months -- particularly as we enter the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.
 

Boundaries.

Last season, I was intentional about defining boundaries, both professionally and with loved ones. Now, I want to make sure that not only am I clear on them, having written them down, but that I have communicated them to others. One of the biggest burdens on me as a woman is the mental load of it all. If I'm not doing I'm planning, strategizing, or delegating. It's the constant management of everything that weighs on us. 
 

Rest.

I need to rest. Not just in the physical sense, because y'all know "sis takes naps" but I need mental rest. So I am committing to take a 20 minute "brain break" every 2-3 hours to look away from [all of] the screen[s], and sit in solitude for a moment. It's so important to quiet our minds, and to get our thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. What's ideal for me, lately, has been to get outside in nature and practice mindfulness with the trees and flowers and clouds -- breathing deeply and exhaling slowly. 
 

Release.

As women, wives, managers, and moms we often carry around guilt. We feel this illogical guilt for not being perfect or having all the answers, and then we feel shame about the guilt. Smh. I plan to release all of that. I will do this by asking myself, "Why do I feel this way?" until I get to the bottom of it. I once heard, that to get to the real core of our emotions we should ask ourselves why, then why again, then why once more. Typically, by the third why we will get to the root of the issue. And often times, the root answer is fear. You'll hear me say "ask three times" on the podcast or in my speaking engagements because it works. It allows us to go deeper with ourselves, and in our relationships with others. Moreover, once we answer "why" we can acknowledge, address, and release those feelings.

Y'all, I hope you all have found the new format of these monthly notes to be valuable, as I am often sharing my experiences as I experience them. My goal here is not to be an expert, but an ally. I look forward to hearing what you all have planned for the coming season. Let's not stop here, I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions as well. Please don't be shy -- reply to this email and let me know if you plan to fall back in this season, whether you plan on adopting these ideas, or taking on others. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Let's do this! 

Love,
Maaden